


bone-deep, it's more than that

by softer



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-05 22:39:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12803904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softer/pseuds/softer
Summary: seungyoon looked into his eyes for a long moment - he must really be losing it, because for a brief moment he saw themselves in another space, not of this world, where mino was reaching out to him just like this, but only this time he was leaning in ever closer -





	bone-deep, it's more than that

**Author's Note:**

> i've been working on this for fukin forever and at this point i'm just glad i'm done  
> written for songkang's 100-minute challenge: master

Seungyoon tugged at the laces on his vest exasperatedly. Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea to refuse Seho’s help, and somehow he’d gotten the buttonholes all wrong. Jinwoo looked up at him from where he was finishing off the perfect knot at the bottom of his own lacing.

“Here, let me,” Jinwoo brushed his fingers away and began to deftly work at undoing Seungyoon’s tangled mess.

Seungyoon sighed. “Sometimes i think we’d have done better in each other’s places.”

“Hmmm?” Jinwoo didn’t look up from his work. Seungyoon patted him on the head.

“You’re the pretty one, the smarter one. You’d have done better. “

“I wouldn’t want to. Stop talking about it like it isn’t your your birthright, either. You were born for this.” Jinwoo pulled the knot taut, and tugged on it experimentally to check the hold. “And you’ll do well, I know you will. You haven’t even started, why all the pessimism?”

He looked up at Seungyoon with the large, clear eyes that Seungyoon knew the kitchen girls mooned over. With his small oval face, round eyes and smooth hair, his cousin’s beauty always reminded Seungyoon somewhat of royalty, especially when he looked into the mirror at his always tousled hair, thicker lips, sharper eyes.

“You look like those ruggedly handsome horsemen from the street plays they used to hold back in the city square,” the old man in the stables had always laughed as he took the reins back from Seungyoon and handed him the curry comb. “Just back from a hunt out in the woods.”

The sudden hefty weight of his cloak being thrown unceremoniously across his shoulders shook Seungyoon out of his reverie, and he grimaced at Jinwoo, who already had this back to him, rummaging in the dresser drawer. “We haven’t much time, the sun is setting,” Jinwoo said, glancing out of the full windows at the waning sun. Seungyoon looked out too, at the gardens of the city estate, and thought wistfully of the expansive grounds back in the country, the lake, his late mother’s white rosebushes. “We should get going, my lord.”

When Jinwoo shifted into formalities he meant business, and Seungyoon knew better than to protest.

 

 

The first few hours of the evening were a blur of faces - some vaguely familiar from his boyhood days before he’d moved out to the country with his ailing mother; some completely new and foreign, as his father introduced him to lord after lord, agemate after agemate. In a brief interlude of quiet while his father was absorbed in conversation with a lord and his wife, who were mercifully childless, therefore saving Seungyoon the pains of small talk, he eyed longingly the crystal flutes of wine lined up at the ornate wooden table in the corner of the room where all the food and drink were laid out. His poor tolerance for alcohol meant that even in small doses, it tended to render him helplessly sleepy, but that sounded rather tempting right about now.  

Before he could slip away, though, his father’s grip was back on his elbow and Seungyoon was wheeled around to face yet another gentleman.

“Song, this is my Seungyoon,” his father said, and Seungyoon bowed dutifully, noting that this lord wasn’t accompanied by offspring. His relief was short-lived though, as from behind Lord Song emerged a tall and incredibly handsome boy, clearly an agemate.

“Seungyoon, this is Mino,” Lord Song gestured Mino forward, and the boy sank into a deep bow. When he straightened, his dark eyes met Seungyoon’s, and for a brief moment Seungyoon’s breath was knocked out of him. Mino’s eyes were magnetic, framed by thick black hair swept up and away from his face. “He might be new to you, as we only arrived in Sheryne about eight years back, after you’d left for the country.”

“My deepest honour and pleasure,” Seungyoon murmured, lowering his eyes in another bow, to Mino this time - anything to keep himself from staring. When he looked back up though, Mino’s piercing gaze was still fixed on him, dark and curious, interested. “Mino is a year older than you; you two boys should get along swimmingly. Our estate is but a five minute’s ride down the heathered lane, and I would like to present Mino as a companion in assisting you to adjust back to living here in the town of Sheryne.”

“I would be glad to take on this honour,” Mino’s voice was firm and deep, and he stretched a large hand out, eyes still locked on Seungyoon’s. Seungyoon took it, and for the first time since his arrival back in Sheryne, felt warmth coiling in his chest, possibilities fleeting in front of his eyes.

Almost like a door into another world had opened. 

 

 

“How did you like her?” Jinwoo’s voice drifted over from outside the bathing chambers, and Seungyoon was startled out of his thoughts of Mino.

“Her?” he echoed, thinking Jinwoo must have made a mistake.

“Yeah. Lord Wan’s daughter, Wendy. It seemed quite obvious our lord had his sights on her as a potential wife for you.”

“He did?” Seungyoon frowned down at his hands, pruny from the hot water. “He never mentioned anything, and I never thought of marriage.” He wasn’t being untruthful; the thought of marriage had been the last thing on his mind the whole night, focused as he was on Mino’s promises to bring him riding and exploring. The past hour in the bath, he’d had time to mull over the evening, and Mino was the clearest thing he remembered. He supposed though, that he should be thinking about marriage. After all, that was one of the main purposes of these balls.

“Of course he didn’t,” Jinwoo frowned at Seungyoon. “He would never say it outright, it’s not polite. But he’s setting up house calls for the two of you.”

“She’s a nice enough girl,” Seungyoon tried half-heartedly.

“You know better to lie to me,” Jinwoo slid the door open to give him a reproachful glare through the lavender-scented steam. “You don’t even remember what she looked like, do you? Do you even remember anybody you spoke to?”

“I remember Mino,” Seungyoon perked, glad to be able to prove Jinwoo wrong, “The son of the neighbouring Song estate.”

“You weren’t entirely useless then,” Jinwoo said. “He’s a handsome bugger though, that one.”

“Ain’t he,” Seungyoon murmured.

 

 

Mino wasn’t only incredibly attractive, Seungyoon found, but incredibly easy to get along with. They fell into a comfortable, easy routine - Mino took him out to the city bazaar, to the thieves’ market, to the little clock tower behind the town, where at the top of more than two hundred steep winding stone stairs was a bird’s eye view of the sprawling town.

Seungyoon had thought that getting back to the bustle of town life would be hard, accustomed as he was to the quiet of the country, but with Mino, it was easier to navigate. With so much time spent with Mino, it was easier to slip from under his father’s nose all his insistent attempts at setting him up for house calls with Wendy.

One afternoon, Seungyoon turned his apple over and around in his hand, winking green in the fading sunlight, and watched Mino laugh over the granny smiths with the old man who owned the fruit cart in the marketplace. There was this warmth surging in his chest - foreign to him, but it felt so good.

Comforting.

The way Mino was to him.

It was a sudden, shocking epiphany - that he would like to spend the rest of his life like this.

He stepped back shakily, his knees threatening to give out on him. Mino turned, confused, a hand reaching out to grasp his elbow, strong and steady.

“You okay?” he asked, and Seungyoon looked into his eyes for a long moment - he must really be losing it, because for a brief moment he saw themselves in another space, not of this world, where Mino was reaching out to him just like this, but only this time he was leaning in ever closer -

He shook his head. "A little dizzy, but I'm fine. I think it's just the summer heat."

 

 

They hadn’t expected it to rain - the sun had been brimming hot and bright in the clear blue sky when they’d first set out at a little past seven in the morning. But half an hour away from the country estate, somewhere around two in the afternoon, grey clouds had begun to loom,

“We should probably speed up a little,” Mino peered up at the rolling grey clouds. They’d been going at an ambling pace the entire day. “Don’t want to get caught in the rain.”

Seungyoon grimaced but nodded, gripping the reins tight. Mino noticed, and pulling Thunder up next to Brownie, reached over and wrapped a large hand around Seungyoon’s whitened knuckles. “Loosen up a bit; trust Brownie. She won’t let you fall.”

It was Mino he trusted, Seungyoon thought, as Mino settled back into his own saddle and gently nudged Thunder’s sides with his heels. As Seungyoon tentatively followed suit, he let the enormity of the realisation that he’d probably trust him with his life sink in. Brownie sped up into a quicker trot, keeping up with Thunder’s flank, and Seungyoon tried not to think about the fact that he’d only known Mino for a few months, and already… already he’d do anything for him. A chill shivered down his spine, and on cue thunder rang in the distance, and rain began to fall. Mino looked over his shoulder to check on him, pushing his wet hair out of his eyes with one hand, laughter in his eyes, and Seungyoon felt his heart swell with warmth, despite the chill of the rain soaking through his cloak and tunic.

By the time they rode up to the front steps, they were both soaked through, wet to the skin. Servants came running with towels and hot water, and dripping through the hallways Seungyoon led Mino to his old rooms. Somehow along the way their hands had wound together, and even through the chill and the damp Mino’s grip was warm and reassuring.

Closing the door behind them, hands still linked, he crossed the room to open another door at the adjacent wall.

“These were Jinwoo’s rooms, I asked Jinwoo if you could use them. The guest rooms are available, as well, if you’d prefer those instead? I only thought you might like it here, because the guest rooms are in the east wing of the house. That’s not lived in as much, so it feels colder and lonelier there.”  

“No, I’d rather be near you.” Mino looked down at him, eyes crinkling at the edges. “This is fine. Help me tell Jinwoo thank you.”

“Thank _you,_ ” Seungyoon said. “For accompanying me back here. I’d missed this place. You ended up getting caught in the rain because of me.”

“I’m used to it,” Mino came up to him, pulling the towel from around his neck and tossing it over Seungyoon’s head, leaning in to rub roughly at his damp hair with both hands. “Happens a lot on expeditions out. I’m more worried about you falling ill.”

Seungyoon wanted to respond, mouth parting, but Mino was so _close_ , and his words stuck in his throat. Mino’s hands slowed to a stop, and Seungyoon caught his eyes flickering downwards - to his mouth? - before lifting to meet his again. Was he imagining it?

Maybe not after all, because Mino was inching closer, and suddenly there was no space between their bodies, their faces only a breath of air apart, and - Seungyoon definitely wasn’t imagining it this time - Mino’s eyes flicked deliberately down to his lips, and Seungyoon could feel anticipation starting to coil in his chest. Mino leant in even closer, and Seungyoon’s eyes fluttered shut - and there were three sharp raps on the door.

The two of them froze, and before Seungyoon could react there was a quick press of a warm, wet mouth to his, before Mino stepped back, hands falling to his sides. Mino’s eyes were dark and unreadable when Seungyoon looked up at him, and the knocking on the door came again.

“My lord?” The butler’s voice was muffled through the door, and Seungyoon sighed, pushing himself off the wall and heading towards the door. He could feel Mino’s eyes on him as he opened the door and let the butler and servants in, with fresh clothes and more towels.

“Would you like the bath prepared?” one of the servants asked.

“Yes, please,” Seungyoon stepped back, still acutely aware of Mino leaning against the doorjamb, watching him. He unclasped his wet riding cloak with trembling fingers, slipping it off his shoulders and draping it over the nearest chair.

Only when all the servants had bowed themselves out and closed the door behind them, did Mino push himself off from the doorjamb and unfasten his own cloak, padding over to take Seungyoon’s hand to pull him towards the bathroom.

The bathroom was large, tiled in marble, with the bathing pool hewn into the floor and stone steps leading down into it. It was large enough that as a child, he’d been able to swim in it. Seungyoon sniffed at the damp air, momentarily distracted by how the servants had remembered his favourite dried lavender buds.

At the edge of the pool, Mino let go of his hand and began tugging at the strings of his tunic, and Seungyoon hesitated. It wasn’t unusual to bathe together - bath houses were common in the city square. He sometimes bathed with Jinwoo too, and he had no qualms about that. But this was _Mino_. His attraction to Mino certainly did not help matters. As if sensing Seungyoon’s hesitation, Mino looked over at him, and tugged playfully at his sleeve.

“You do know I can see right through your clothes right? Since it’s wet.” Seungyoon looked down, startled. Mino was right - his soaked white tunic was almost transparent. By then, Mino was down to his underclothes and his fingers paused. “Are you okay with this? I’d forgotten you wouldn’t have been used to the bath houses we have back in the city square. If you aren’t I can have the servants prepare a separate-”

“It’s okay,” Seungyoon interrupted, beginning to loosen his own tunic nervously. “I do bathe with Jinwoo sometimes. I’m just not used to bathing with others very often, that's all.”

“Sure?” Mino’s tunic was hanging open, revealing a leanly muscled chest and stomach and Seungyoon tried to keep his eyes at somewhere around the level of Mino’s ears.

“Yeah, yes.” Before he could regret it, Seungyoon quickly slid his own tunic off his shoulders, stepped out of his pants and underthings, letting them fall into a damp pile at his bare feet. He slid into the warm, scented water, trying not to think about the way the look in Mino’s eyes had sharpened as he undressed.

He didn't look back, wading deeper in, and he couldn't hold back the sigh of contentment as the warm water engulfed his sore muscles and chilled skin. He felt, rather than heard, Mino enter the pool as well, large ripples bounding across the surface of the water and lapping at his shoulders.

“This feels so good.” Mino sat back against the wall of the pool, closing his eyes. Seungyoon nodded, perching tentatively next to Mino. The water was still mostly clear, and his eyes swept down Mino’s broad shoulders, tanned skin, built stomach, his cock nestled in the dark hair at the apex of his thighs… feeling himself harden at the sight, Seungyoon looked away quickly - right into Mino’s dark eyes, and he knew Mino had been watching him the entire time, had caught him looking.  

The water rippled around his shoulders again, Mino shifting closer to lift a dripping arm out of the water and wrap it around Seungyoon’s shoulders.

“Do we need to talk?”

“What about?” Seungyoon plucked a dried lavender bud off Mino’s wet arm and crushed it between his fingers.

“The kiss,” Mino raised his brows at Seungyoon, who swivelled sharply around to face him, his voice going pitchy.

“ _You_ were the one who kissed me!”

“I like you,” Mino said suddenly, and Seungyoon could have sworn his heart stopped for a moment, unable to tear his eyes away from Mino’s penetrating stare, as unreadable as always. “I know we’re not supposed to, but I keep thinking about you.” Seungyoon could feel Mino pull in a deep, shuddering breath, and felt a little lightheaded himself. “I wasn't going to do anything, but when I came back, the way you were looking at me… I thought, maybe-”

“I do too,” he blurted. The ensuing silence hung heavy over them, in the warm, humid air, then Mino sighed.

“I don't know what I was hoping for,” he pulled away from Seungyoon, running a frustrated hand through his wet hair. “I wasn't planning for this. You weren't supposed to be attracted to me as well. We would never be able to choose each other. I don't-”

“You were the one telling me to live in the present, that the present is all we have, that tomorrow might not be ours to take,” Seungyoon didn’t know where this courage was coming from, knew he probably wasn’t thinking this through clearly the way Mino was, but since they were here, since they’d opened the can of worms, he bulldozed on. “Can we just… not think about the future for now? I like spending time with you. I’m happiest when I do. We don’t have to think about anything else more than that.”

“I can't not think about anything else more than that,” Mino’s voice was suddenly lower, huskier. “Not when-” he reached out for Seungyoon’s arm, tugging him closer. “-not when I keep thinking about wanting to do this.”

Before Seungyoon could respond, Mino had cupped his face with one wet hand and pulled him in with another, covering his mouth with his in another kiss. Seungyoon gasped and tried to catch his breath - this time Mino’s mouth was so hungry, tongue coaxing Seungyoon to let him in. When Seungyoon parted his lips, Mino groaned low into his mouth and kissed him deeper, harder.

In the haze of sensations and pleasure, however, Seungyoon could feel a tinge of desperation in Mino’s movements, even as Mino shifted to press him against the wall of the bathing pool, bending him over the edge, mouth still moving wet and hot over his. When Mino reached down to wrap his hand around him, Seungyoon jolted at the sharp spark of pleasure thrumming through his entire body, his back arching, letting a broken moan into Mino’s mouth, mindlessly thrusting up into Mino’s fist - Mino groaned and pushed himself off Seungyoon, panting, eyes squeezed shut.

“This is why I can’t,” Mino gasped. “I want you. We’ve known each other for just a few months, and already I can’t imagine looking at you and not wanting you.”

Seungyoon stared back at Mino helplessly, the warm water swirling about his heaving chest doing nothing to alleviate the loss of Mino’s hot skin on his own. “Then take me,” he whispered, so low that Mino, for a moment, thought he’d heard wrong.

“Take me,” he repeated, louder, more forceful, and Mino flinched infinitesimally, but Seungyoon saw it. “Even if it’s just for one night,” he continued, quieter. “We’re away from home. It’s just the two of us. I… I want you too. Maybe we can try - just one night - if we can work this out of our systems.”

Even as he said it though, Seungyoon knew Mino was right. He couldn’t imagine looking at Mino, and not wanting him either. And the way Mino was looking back at him - Mino knew too. That he was lying through his teeth. Mino’s swollen lips parted, presumably to respond, and Seungyoon could only think about how he wanted to kiss that mouth again.

Instead, wordlessly, Mino held out a hand to him. When Seungyoon took it, he pulled Seungyoon towards the stone steps and out of the bathing pool, to the oakwood bench near the door where a stack of fluffy, clean towels sat. Haphazardly tossing a towel around his own shoulders, he let go of Seungyoon’s hand to reach for another, and still in silence, began to dry Seungyoon down methodically - rubbing the towel through his tousled brown hair, wiping down his arms, torso and back, not hesitating even when he reached Seungyoon’s half-hard cock. The room was silent, the only sound Seungyoon’s hitched breathing as Mino matter-of-factly patted his erection dry, moving around to his butt, and down to his legs.

When Seungyoon was dry, Mino wrapped him in a fresh towel, and proceeded to wipe himself down. Clutching at his towel cocoon, Seungyoon watched Mino rub at his own hair, arm muscles rippling. He felt like he should help, but he couldn't move - somehow could only watch at Mino dried his way down his own body. When Mino carelessly reached for his own cock - almost fully hard - Seungyoon had to bite back a moan, and looked away.

Mino reached for him again, palm warm and dry against his, pulling him out of the bathroom. Seungyoon followed obediently, quietly, as Mino led him into the bedroom and gently pushed him down onto the bed. Seungyoon landed with a soft thud, bouncing a little, the sheets cool against his bare legs. Mino lowered himself to hover over him, elbows propped on either side of Seungyoon’s head, his erection brushing against Seungyoon’s thighs.

Lifting a leg to wrap it around Mino’s hip, Seungyoon pulled Mino closer, relishing the drag of Mino’s cock, hot and hard, against his thigh. Breathing ragged, Seungyoon raised a tentative hand to Mino’s cheek, meeting his eyes. He watched Mino swallow audibly, and Seungyoon pulled him down to press a soft kiss on the tip of his nose.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, his breath tickling Mino’s cheek. “Don’t think about it.”

“What if…” Mino hesitated. “What if I can’t stop. After today.”

“You never know,” Seungyoon laughed weakly, going for light-hearted. “It’s my first time, I could be horrible in bed and you’d never want me again-” his words were abruptly cut off into a broken moan at the sensation of Mino’s cock dragging against his as Mino rolled his hips sharply down into his.

“So responsive for me,” Mino murmured low into his ear, cheek warm against his, grinding insistently down onto Seungyoon, and Seungyoon nodded wildly, whining as he bucked back up into Mino’s hips. “You never seem to see how you turn me on. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted you. How it killed me wanting you but knowing I could never have you.” He closed his lips, hot and wet, over the shell of Seungyoon’s ear, his tongue flicking out to tease and Seungyoon threw his head back, feeling himself harden even further.

When he felt like he was about to burn, Seungyoon reached for Mino’s face and pulled his mouth to his, licking heatedly into Mino’s mouth without restraint, swallowing Mino’s groans. He ran greedy hands across Mino’s shoulders, down his lean back, to his ass, unable to help the fire guiding his inexperienced fingers - he wanted to touch every part of Mino.

Mino pulled back and Seungyoon couldn't help but stare, Mino’s eyes blown dark with desire, hair a complete mess. “You're so beautiful,” he whispered raggedly, reaching a trembling hand out to thread his fingers through Mino’s hair, curling his fingers at his nape and lightly tugging. Mino shuddered at the touch, and brought his fingers up to Seungyoon’s mouth, slipping the tips between the seam of his lips. Seungyoon opened willingly, pulling Mino’s thick fingers into his mouth, following Mino’s whispered instructions to coat them.

When he was done, Mino reached down and slowly slipped a finger into him, and Seungyoon winced at the foreign sensation, clutching at Mino’s shoulders. The second one stung a little, and Seungyoon whimpered at the burn and stretch of the third finger. Mino bent to kiss him, hard and deep to distract him from the pain, swiveling his fingers to stretch Seungyoon properly. When Mino curled his fingers, hitting a spot inside him, for a moment Seungyoon’s vision behind his closed lids was white-hot stars, his grip on Mino’s shoulders so hard that his nails left half-moon crescents on Mino’s skin.

“Does it still hurt?” Mino kissed Seungyoon’s temple, so gentle that Seungyoon was close to tears, shaking his head. Pushing his nose into Seungyoon’s neck, Mino suddenly rolled them over so that Seungyoon was on top, and gently pushed downwards at Seungyoon’s shoulders.

The heat in Mino’s eyes was doing weird things to his heart so Seungyoon closed his eyes, pressing a kiss on Mino’s mouth, and peppered a trail of wet kisses from Mino’s mouth, down his jaw, throat, chest, and even lower, until finally he was faced with Mino’s shaft, fully hard, curving up towards his flat belly, already leaking precome. He curled a tentative hand around it, eliciting a moan from Mino above, which descended into a guttural groan when Seungyoon wrapped his lips around the swollen head and sank down on him. Mino was heavy and hot on his tongue, and despite it being his first time, taking a cue from Mino’s noises, he easily fell into a rhythm of suck sink suck sink suck sink-

“Close, I'm close,” Mino gasped, tugging at Seungyoon’s hair. Seungyoon released Mino with a pop and was promptly dragged back up Mino’s body, Mino turning them over to press him into the sheets again, mouths sloppy against each other, hands hot on his skin.

When Mino finally sank into him, swallowing Seungyoon’s whines into his mouth, he let his head drop onto Seungyoon’s shoulder once he was all the way in. “Are you okay?” he panted into Seungyoon’s neck. “Fuck, you're so tight-”

Seungyoon nodded, gasping at the fullness, and bucked up against Mino, turning his head and blindly searching - Mino pressed his open mouth against his, tongue hot and probing, pulling out from Seungyoon’s body almost all the way before thrusting back in. Seungyoon fell back against the pillows with a long moan, as Mino started a slow and steady rhythm, dragging his cock over Seungyoon’s prostate with every push. Seungyoon raised his arms to wrap them around Mino’s shoulders, holding him close and burying his face into the hollow between his neck and shoulder. His hips were moving almost of their own accord, bucking up to meet Mino’s thrusts, and he didn't think he'd ever been so hard.

Mino reached a hand between their bodies and wrapped a hand around Seungyoon’s erection, and as embarrassingly close to the edge he was it took only the feeling of Mino’s hot skin on his cock to suddenly push him over, coming hard all over Mino’s hand and both their stomachs with a cry, Mino’s now-hasty thrusts dragging out his orgasm.

Falling boneless and gasping back against the pillows, body still quivering from the shock, Seungyoon blinked the stars out of his vision and watched as Mino sought his own release above him, breathing harsh against his cheek and thrusts hungrier and more erratic. He looked beautiful like this, Seungyoon thought, with his face flushed and mouth parted, and he pushed himself up from the pillows to press sloppy, open-mouthed kisses along Mino’s jaw, tracing a damp line to the corners of his mouth, tilting his hips upwards, the new angle driving Mino even deeper into him. Mino turned his head so that he was kissing Seungyoon instead, his breathing coming out as sharp little pants into Seungyoon’s mouth. Licking gently into his mouth, Seungyoon bucked his hips up against him and clenched around his cock and Mino suddenly came, hot and hard, with a low grunt inside him.

He collapsed breathless on Seungyoon, and Seungyoon wound his arms around his torso, stroking gently. Then a soft kiss on his cheek, and Mino was sliding out of him. Seungyoon whined at the odd sensation of Mino’s come dripping out of him, and at the sudden emptiness.

The emptiness echoed in his chest too, when he remembered that this happiness was only temporary, even as Mino was carding tender fingers through his damp hair, eyes soft and gentle. That it couldn't last.

“You okay?” Mino murmured, rolling off him to the side and pulling Seungyoon into his arms. Seungyoon pressed his cheek to Mino’s bare chest, the furious beat of his heart comforting, and nodded.

_For now._

 

 

The sun was high in the sky as they rode up to the gates of the Kang estate, and Mino pulled Thunder to a halt alongside Brownie, turning in his saddle to look at him, beautiful in the sunlight.

Seungyoon wanted to just reach out, grab him by the collar of his tunic, kiss him, but a servant was already there, pulling the gates open. He curled his fingers tighter about the reins instead.

Mino was right. He still wanted him. They'd made love at least three more times through yesterday afternoon, last night, and even just this morning Mino had woken him up by closing his mouth, hot and wet, over his morning erection.

Looking at him now, outside the magic of secluded privacy they’d shared in the country, the pull was still there.

“I’ll… be going in, then,” Seungyoon ventured. “Thank you. For… the trip.”

Mino’s face was unusually unreadable, but he smiled and reached out to briefly tousle Seungyoon’s hair, fingertips lingering a moment too long, warm over his temple, and then he pulled his hand back.

“Go on in,” he murmured. Seungyoon tugged at Brownie’s reins to turn her around and as she trotted into the compound, the sound of the Thunder’s hooves fading over the cobblestoned path and and heavy iron gates swinging shut behind him - he had this odd premonition that it seemed oddly final.

“You're back,” Jinwoo looked up at Seungyoon as he slipped in the library. His eyes swept Seungyoon up and down, and for a moment Seungyoon froze - he hadn't thought of checking in the mirror for any marks Mino might have left on him, and he bruised easily. But the neckline of his tunic was high, and he resisted the urge to tug it closer over his collarbones.

“Did you get caught in the rain yesterday?” was all Jinwoo said, thankfully.

“Yeah, we did, only about a mile or so out from the house.”

Jinwoo nodded. “At least you weren't very far out when it started raining. Have you heard, though?”

“Heard what?”

“Mino’s wedding date with Irene of the Bae estate has been set,” Jinwoo looked up at Seungyoon. “The Queen’s messenger arrived in Sheryne yesterday. Lord Song has to leave for the Viera mainlands to take up his knightly appointment earlier than expected, and he’ll be leaving the Song estate here in Mino’s hands while he's away. So they decided to skip the whole engagement business and move straight to the wedding.”

“Without asking Mino about it?” was all Seungyoon could find the words for. Jinwoo shrugged.

“Since when do we have a say in matters such as these? You know that too.” He caught Seungynoon’s eyes, his gaze sharp and Seungyoon felt a chill creeping down his spine.

Jinwoo knew.

He should be more bothered about this, really, but Seungyoon just couldn't find it in him to care. He looked down at the teak desk, imagining Mino arriving back at his estate, to be told the news that he was to be married soon. “When?”

“Lord Song is expected in the Queen’s presence in a month's time. I've heard talk in the square for a date being set three weeks in.”

“That’s such short notice,” Seungyoon faltered.

"We never do have a say in matters like these," Jinwoo echoed, turning back to his tome.

 

 

Later that evening, Seungyoon stood in front of the mirror in his bathing chambers, and carefully, slowly, undressed. The high neck of his cotton tunic had hid from view any sign that he'd let anybody touch him, but as the layers came off Mino’s presence on his skin came into sight.

A bruise Mino had sucked on his collarbone. Finger-shaped marks on his hips where Mino had held onto him. Another mark Mino had left on the inside of his thigh.

Seungyoon fit his own fingers to the marks on his hips. Mino’s fingers were so much thicker than his, and he closed his eyes, remembering how they had felt, inside him for the first time.

He would have to make do with memories, memories that felt so far off and distant, almost like they didn't fit into the present, the here and the now.

 

 

He wasn't expecting Mino to call, and he wasn't going to call, either. Lord Song had, the very next day, confirmed the marriage and bustling preparations were now underway.

“I’ll go,” Seungyoon said, later that very afternoon, when over tea his father brought Wendy up again.

“You will?”

“Were you not expecting me to agree, Father?” Seungyoon laughed a little, dry.

“You were so resistant to the idea before,” his father peered at him over his lunettes. “But it is as well, for Lord Wan has been asking. He's taken a liking to you.”

Does it not matter what I feel about her? Seungyoon wondered vaguely.

It didn’t, not really, Seungyoon came to realise, given the quite businesslike nature of it all, but Wendy was lovelier than he remembered, with the sweetest smile and the prettiest tinkling laughter and when she smiles at him he finds himself thinking that such a state of things wouldn’t be so bad, after all. It felt right, in this world. 

“Lord Mino came by, earlier today, for you,” a servant told him later that afternoon, when Seungyoon returned from his call to the Wan estate. Seungyoon's traitorous heart skipped a beat, as the servant continued. “He left a message for you to call, that he'll be in for today.”

Seungyoon glanced out the window. The sky was still light, and the proximity of the Song estate actually assured enough time for a quick call, with ample leeway to make it back just slightly after sundown.

He shook his head. “I’ll call tomorrow.”

 

 

He didn't. He figured Mino probably knew by now, that he was avoiding him, because he didn't try again.

But one day, there was an envelope sitting on his desk when he returned to his study after tea. He recognized the dark scrawl of his name over the front of the envelope - unmistakably Mino’s.

The letter was weighty in his hands, and Seungyoon had a vague inkling of what it would be - and he was right, when he broke the seal and slid out the wedding invitation, heavy and lettered on thick cream paper. Another, smaller slip that fluttered to the floor, and putting the invitation down without even bothering to open it, Seungyoon bent for the slip.

He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it was just a short, impersonal note inviting him to the bachelor’s party in three days, at the Song estate. Probably a single note out of another hundred identical ones.

The last time, he told himself. Before his little secret passageway away from reality was sealed for good.  

 

 

Seungyoon had it all planned out - he would slip in a little late, just enough that the party would be crowded, hand Mino his gift, and sneak back out as soon as possible.

Armed with his gameplan, he hesitated at the threshold, peering into the crowd in the foyer. Mino was easy to find, towering even in an all-male crowd. Seungyoon’s breath caught in his throat - it was just two weeks since the last time he’d seen him, from their trip together out to the country, but it was seeing him again that made him realise just how much he’d missed him.

The attraction, the pull was still there, and for a few moments he just stood and watched Mino laugh over something with his friends. He was just briefly contemplating leaving his gift with the butler and pleading illness as a reason to leave when Mino looked up, straight at him, their eyes catching across the room.

Mino nodded at his group and threaded his way through the crowd towards him with surprising alacrity, despite how people kept stopping him along the way.

“The man of the hour,” Seungyoon smiled wryly, when Mino was finally in front of him.  

“I haven’t seen you in so long,” Mino’s voice was quiet, but tinged with hurt. It was unspoken, hanging in the air between them - _you were avoiding me._

“Congratulations,” Seungyoon said instead, holding out the small nosegay of lavender and wheat buds. “I arranged this myself. I didn’t know what else to get. Jinwoo’s out of town, but he sends his regards.”

“Thank you,” Mino murmured, their fingers brushing as he reached out to take the posy from Seungyoon. The touch was electric, Mino’s skin as warm as ever against his, and Seungyoon drew in a sharp breath and stepped back a little. Mino reached out to clasp his hand, carefully angling it to look just like any other handshake, but his thumb was running small circles on Seungyoon’s palm.

“Stay,” he said quietly. “I know that look in your eyes - the deer in the headlights one. You look like you’re about to bolt any moment.” Seungyoon shuffled a little, looking down at his shoes.

“You know I don’t like things like these, I came just for you. I was about to leave.”

“Just this one last time?” Mino’s eyes were dark, focused unblinkingly on him. Seungyoon felt himself start to give in, and he knew Mino could tell.

“Wait for me in my library? At least you won’t have to socialise,” Mino grabbed a glass of wine from a passing servant’s tray and closed a firm grip over Seungyoon’s elbow.

“I know the way,” Seungyoon hedged, trying rather half-heartedly to squirm from Mino’s grip, but Mino shook his head.

“If i don’t actually get you there you might change your mind halfway and escape.”

“You know me a little too well for my own good,” Seungyoon mumbled, but followed Mino out of the bustling foyer and parlour, up the stairs and into his mercifully quiet library. Moonlight was pouring in through the full window overlooking the gardens, and Mino sat him down in his favourite armchair, setting the glass of wine down next to him.

Moving to poke the low embers in the fireplace back to life, he eyed Seungyoon over his shoulder. ”Promise me you’ll still be here when I return?”

“Just this one last time,” Seungyoon nodded slowly, and Mino sighed, stepping quickly in and cupping his cheek. Before Seungyoon could react, he tilted Seungyoon’s face up and pressed a soft kiss on his mouth, and then the library door was closing with a quiet click behind him.

 

 

When Seungyoon woke, the room was dim, lit only by a candle on a table nearby. Warm arms were wrapped around him, and he was no longer in the armchair.

“You’re awake,” Mino’s voice was low in his ear, and a shiver ran right down Seungyoon’s spine, warmth pooling at the pit of his belly. As his eyes adjusted to the low light, he recognized Mino’s room, and the four posters of his bed. The nosegay he’d given Mino was sitting on the table, next to the candle.

“You carried me here?” Seungyoon breathed, involuntarily pushing himself closer against Mino’s warm body. Mino’s eyes were bright in the wavering candlelight, face just inches from his on the same pillow.

“You were knocked out cold. I forgot alcohol makes you sleepy, but I don’t know if I’m particularly sorry about that.” Mino reached out and pushed Seungyoon’s hair off his forehead. “I’ve sent a servant to let your father know you’ll be staying the night.”

Seungyoon half-heartedly considered protesting, but it was warm and comfortable in Mino’s arms, and the lethargy from the alcohol was still heavy in his veins.

“Why did you avoid me?” Mino nuzzled into his ear, breath ticklish against the sensitive skin there.

“I was trying to work you out of my world,” Seungyoon sighed. “We both knew this couldn't last. I’d just let it slip from my mind, until I got home and Jinwoo told me you were getting married.”

“You found out even earlier than I did, myself,” Mino snorted. “The man of the hour.” He hesitated, then, “I heard from Jiho that you'd been calling at the Wan estate.”

“Yeah.”

“This is really it, then,” Mino pulled back to look down at him. Seungyoon nodded, finger tracing absent circles on Mino’s collarbone.

“I wonder that it would have been like,” Seungyoon sighed. “If we could only just have stayed like this.”

Mino’s breath hitched, the rise and fall of his chest uneven under Seungyoon’s fingers.

“I think I’d dreamt about that ever since I met you,” he murmured so quietly that even in the dead silence of the early autumn night, Seungyoon had to strain to hear him. “I think sometimes about… about parallel universes. Another world, where the two of us meet, as well. Maybe in rather different circumstances. But a world where we can marry, where we can coexist in all the ways we cannot here. It’s weak comfort, but it's all I have to work with.”

“In this world I’d chosen you the moment I saw you.” Seungyoon pressed trembling lips to Mino’s collarbone. “In another world, I’d choose you again.”

“You weren’t going to come to the wedding, were you?” Mino cupped Seungyoon’s cheek with a warm hand, dropping small kisses on his mouth.

“I was going to be down with a fever on that day,” Seungyoon admitted, fingers tightening in Mino’s tunic. “You saw through me. I’m sorry. I just - I don't think I would have been able to go.”

Mino was silent for a moment. “Would you let me come to yours?”

“You’ll get the invite, but I’ll leave it up to you.” Seungyoon fingered the strings of Mino’s tunic, gently pulling them loose and pushing the collar off one shoulder, sliding his hands underneath and running his hands over every inch of bare skin he exposed. He just wanted to touch and touch and touch.

Mino sat up, tugging off his tunic in one swift move, pushing Seungyoon onto his back and moving to hover over him.

“Just this one last time,” he repeated, almost like a prayer. Seungyoon nodded, a lump in his throat, and pulled him down.

The feeling of Mino’s body, strong and warm against his, was already familiar, as was the unbearable heat that coiled in his belly at Mino’s grunts, low in his ear. Kisses that were more teeth and tongue than anything else, Mino’s fingers almost painfully firm on his skin, his lips trailing up his throat to nip at an earlobe, before going back to his mouth, needy and hungry.

The snap of Mino’s hips was just right and Seungyoon came untouched between their stomachs with a long whimper, thighs tightening around Mino’s waist. A few more sloppy thrusts and Mino was releasing into him with a drawn-out groan that Seungyoon swallowed by kissing him deeper.

 

 

Later, Seungyoon roused to the first rays of dawn spilling through the cracks in the curtains. Mino’s chest was flush against his back, arms wrapped around him and breathing slow and steady against the nape of his neck. Seungyoon closed his eyes and let this feeling of safety, of home in Mino’s arms sink into memory as best as he could.

He had to go.

Mino’s embrace was loose in his sleep, and Seungyoon carefully slipped from his arms, out of bed. He bent to pick his tunic up from the floor, and when he straightened Mino’s eyes were open, and staring right up at him.

“Trying to leave?” Mino’s voice was husky and rough from sleep, and it sent shivers down Seungyoon’s spine.

Seungyoon swallowed. “We promised each other just one last night.”

“So we did.” Mino pushed himself up, naked and glorious, the sheets pooling at his waist, and fully-dressed by then, Seungyoon stepped up to the bed, bending to kiss him, slow and lingering.

“You don’t have to see me out,” he whispered. Mino’s grip on his wrist tightened.

“Seungyoon-”

“If you see me out and I start crying at the door the servants will think I’ve lost it,” Seungyoon joked weakly, retreating towards the door.

“Seungyoon.” Firmer this time, and Seungyoon looked up, hand on the door handle.

“In that perfect universe where we stay together, love as much as we want - maybe that world collided with this one for the briefest of moments.” He hesitated. “A preview, if you will. I’ll see you on that side.”

 

 

Seungyoon dropped the trowel and pushed himself backwards to sit on the ground, stretching out his cramped legs from when he’d been hunching over the rose bushes. The sun’s rays on his mother’s white roses were turning pink, and he knew he’d been at it for a whole afternoon again.

Looking out across the fields, across the small lake, if he squinted against the rays of the setting sun he could faintly make out the hedges that marked the edges of their sprawling country grounds.

Circling the lake on horseback it was half an hour away, but a good morning’s walk on foot. He hadn’t been there in years. With the upcoming festivities though, the gates would be open wide. For the first time.

A plaintive mew drew Seungyoon from his thoughts, and he looked up.

“Missed me, buddy?” he murmured as he reached out to scratch behind Rei’s ears, the cat curiously winding around his ankles.

“I’ve always wondered how you haven’t actually pruned off all the leaves from the rosebush by now.” Jinwoo settled himself down beside Seungyoon, Bei in his arms. Seungyoon shrugged and plucked Rei off his feet before the cat could chew at his boot laces.

“I haven’t been at them for the past two days, with all the heavy rain. That battered quite a few of the blooms down though,” he reached for one of the more tattered petals with a gloved finger.

“At least it’s cleared up,” Jinwoo peered up at the cloudless sky. “Hopefully it stays dry until the wedding.”

Seungyoon hummed. “Looks like it will.”

“Speaking of the wedding,” Jinwoo hesitated.

“What about it?” Seungyoon raised an eyebrow at him, but somewhere deep inside he had an inkling that it would be something to do with the postman’s arrival fifteen minutes earlier. “Mino said he wouldn’t be coming, did he?”

“Are you sad about it?”

“I didn’t expect that he would come, after all, now that the entire family’s relocated back to the mainlands of Viera. And I didn’t go for his either,” Rei pawed demandingly at his shin, and Seungyoon hefted him onto his knee. “Fussy cat.”

“It was just such a short while, though, the time the two of you spent together. There’s rumours circulating back in Sheryne that the two of you fought.”

“Town square gossip is almost always grasping at straws, you know that better than I do,” Seungyoon shrugged.

“It just seemed… a little extreme, did it not? To not even say goodbye when the Song family left.”

Seungyoon pushed himself back to lie down on the grass, Rei curling up into a sleepy ball on his chest. ”Look at that setting sun. Do you think it’d be as beautiful in a parallel universe?”

“Seungyoon,” Jinwoo began. “I don’t-”

“Sometimes it’s just the wrong place, wrong time, you know? Maybe some people would say we never even bothered to really try, but bone-deep you know it’s more than that. The both of us knew.” He scratched under Rei’s chin absent-mindedly. “It was the sheer weight of this world weighing down on our shoulders, and we both weren’t strong enough.

We said otherwise, but on hindsight, we didn’t choose each other this time. But it didn’t mean that I was letting go. It just meant that all I was left with was to be thankful that we even crossed paths, and to hope that in another universe, we chose each other.”

Jinwoo was silent for a few moments. “Would it have been the same, for him?”

“He spoke of it too,” Seungyoon murmured. “I think we both knew we were just passing by, in this world. It didn’t mean I cared about him any less, nor does it mean I don’t care for Wendy. Sometimes you love people, but sometimes people you love will only be a passing moment out of all the moments of your life.”

“I was frightened for you, back then.”

“You knew.”

“I’m sure the sun sets as beautifully too, in that other universe,” Jinwoo gathered himself and Bei up. “Come in before the dew falls.” 

Seungyoon looked up again at the setting sun, through his gloved fingers. The sky was a violent mixture of pinks, blues, and oranges. 

Mino had always liked the sunset, he thought. He'd once told Seungyoon it'd been because it showed them how endings could be beautiful, too. 

**Author's Note:**

> Wendy's original surname was a little too similar to Mino's hence the change because i kept confusing myself.  
> hmu @vanillakang!


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